Your lover has it all — a perfect career, financial stability, sense of responsibility, good looks, intelligence, and sense of humor. Just when you think you have finally found the right man or woman of your dreams, things began to go wrong. All of a sudden, he was laid off from job; she got herself deep into loan issues and went bankrupt; he became less dependable; she nagged a lot and seemed unreasonable. One of you may have tried to reach out and help, but the other simply ignored it as she or he wallowed in misery and depression.
When you start feeling unhappy or suffocated in a relationship where constant argument prevails, it’s time to decide and make yourself happy.
Don’t Feel Trapped
Breaking up with your lover is hard. You will always think of the good old times, of the precious moments together and of the many plans you make together. But if the relationship isn’t doing you good anymore, it is better to quit while you can. Don’t feel stuck in a relationship. Get moving on.
Look for Signs
How will you know you’re in a bad relationship? It’s already bad when you and your partner are in constant and strange periods of bitterness and arguments. It’s worse when these lead you to feel annoyed and silently killing the relationship.
Communication is very important in a successful relationship. You are in a bad relationship if your partner refuses to reach out or if he or she doesn’t make a commitment to do save the relationship. This results to constant irritation and dissatisfaction.
Women are prone to nagging their partners about what she needs. Men on the other hand expect women to have the intuition to know what their needs are. When theses needs are not reciprocated, you both start to lose your self-esteem. You can start feel miserable and pathetic. Both of you will feel the relationship isn’t worth it; this is a perfect occasion for rage, resentment, sadness, doubt and depression.
More than physical harm is the emotional distress brought by a bad relationship. It can imperil your health and whole being. If you are unhappy in your relationship, you start to feel sick often. Tension headache, back aches, insomnia, melancholy and weight loss begin to manifest. Various chemical changes including an acidic stomach and stomachaches can trigger stress.
Vices like smoking and drinking can signal unhealthy relationship. It becomes a way to cope with the problem as the partner tries to escape from getting stuck in the relationship.
When arguments especially become recurrent, suicidal tendencies are not remote. You may feel this especially if too much emotion has been invested in the relationship.
Learn to Break Free
If you feel there isn’t anything else you can do to save the relationship, then stop trying. The more you try, the more it can get more complicated. In the process of saving it, both of you will start to detach from each other, and finally fall out of love. The best thing to do is recover from the bad relationship:
- Your health is what matters most, not any romantic relationship.
- Focus on your own needs more than anyone else’s.
- Be strong when dealing with your own problems.
- Be positive and enhance the positive values you get within the relationship.
- Nourish your spiritual life and achieve inner peace for yourself.
- Get professional help or support groups especially for very traumatic experience such as an abusive husband or boyfriend. These groups will enable you to share your own pains during group sharing.
- Risk loving again. Never be afraid to try a new love; you can always find one. However, don’t trust at once; try to know the person well so you won’t get stuck in a painful relationship.