Letting Go May Be the Best Thing

Marriage is supposed to be forever. You will give all for your marriage just to make certain that your partner is happy and content. Because marriage is a partnership, you feel that so far both of you have been faithful to the vows you made. In many instances where decisions are necessary, compromises always bring peace and agreement.  There are disputes, but you always find ways to thresh them out to avoid further misunderstanding. However, love has its way of slipping away in the midst of a good relationship and letting go may just be the best thing to do.

No matter how hard you try, your partner may slowly drift away. All of a sudden you realize that what you regarded as harmony is actually a dispassionate way of living together. It will surely come as a surprise when your partner tells you it’s time to get a divorce. What should you do?

Stay Calm

Even if the idea comes as a surprise to you, don’t over-react. Let a day or two pass for you to comprehend that what was said is not a joke. Can you say no? Right at the moment, you can simply tell your partner that you can sit down and discuss the matter later. Let him or her give you a little time to absorb and understand the implication of what was just said.

Be Ready to Talk About It

As much as possible, think carefully what to say; there are things that are better kept in silence .The initial reaction to disapprove any idea to separate or divorce should be over after the shock. A peaceful resignation should come after. Resigning to the idea can be hurtful, but letting go is the best thing if you really love and care for your partner. It’s an altruistic act of giving up your own happiness for her freedom.

Discuss the Matter

After you have carefully thought about letting go of your partner, you can now discuss the issue. You don’t sound desperate when you  say that you’ve always thought you will get through tough times together, and that you still care and love him or her. Nor do you sound and that you’ll let go if that’s the only thing to make the other happy. He or she might rethink  the decision especially if there is no third party. Who knows the other’s resolve isn’t so strong as to give up your marriage. Sometimes your partner only needs space to consider all other things.

Seek Professional Help

Marriage counseling can be sought. Just talking it over with your partner may not be effectively. A lot of times, no matter how you try to deal with the matter on your own, it always go out of control and one or both of you can end up yelling or hurling hurtful words to each other. Having a marriage counselor to act as an arbitrator will give each other a chance to be truthful in revealing emotions and understanding actions that may have caused the other person’s desire to end the relationship. Marriage should encourage mutual emotional, intellectual and physical growth. Confront the problem like real adults and maybe that will make your partner reconsider the idea of divorce.

Respect the Other’s Decision

Even after a dialog, don’t keep your hopes high. Your partner may have strong resolve to end your relationship and will never retract her decision to get a divorce. You must calmly accept it without falling apart. If there are children in the middle of a breakup, never use them as pawn to let your partner stay. Never use children to emotionally blackmail your partner or cause the kids to develop contempt against your partner.

Be Ready to Set the Other Free

If your partner decides that he or she wants a divorce, pull yourself together and be strong. Never beg him or her, even if it hurts a lot.  True love is setting free. One relationship may have failed but you’ve got a life ahead of you. It may be painful but life is a constant cycle of separating and rebuilding relationships. It’s time to move on when you realize that letting go is the best thing for both of you.

When you breakup, it’s a new beginning for you. It can be an occasion to focus on other things like your own personal growth, career and happiness. It can be a new door opening to a better relationship in the future.

photo credit: Banksy Girl and Heart Balloon via photopin (license)

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