Staying Friends After a Breakup

Do you remember how and where your romantic relationship with your special someone started? Did you meet at work or in school? Were you introduced by friends or acquaintances? Was it a blind date? Or did you meet through social networking or online chat? Wherever your love started, if the relationship is not meant to be, it will certainly end. Love isn’t always a fairy tale that always ends in living happily ever after.

Familiarity breeds contempt, so they say. This is true of two people who fell in love. After months or years of spending time or living together, you find yourself losing that loving feeling. Eventually your relationship will lead to breaking up to give each other space, maintain sanity, and restore your self-respect and identity. One of you will try to save the relationship, but if your partner has verbally expressed his/her decision, it is wiser to simply accept the breakup.

But is it possible for you two to stay friends after you break up? Yes, it is. But for many ex-lovers, it might take time to accept each other as friends. Instead of moping on your love forlorn, you can build a friendly relationship with your former lover. You may have lost a lover, but don’t let yourself lose a friend.

Here are some tips on how you can stay friends with your ex after your breakup.

Give Your Ex Space

The first few weeks after breakup are really painful. Even if you want to call your ex and express your desire to be friends, you should give him or her space to ponder whether it was right to end the relationship or rekindle the love. The latter though is a remote possibility.

Time Heals All Wounds

Of course the heartache is deep but you can always learn something positive from a painful experience. Breaking up can be your point of realization. You will be aware of what went wrong in the previous relationship and how to be a better partner in the future. When there’s acceptance of each other’s faults, it is easier to forgive and to be friends. The relationship will become platonic and you can talk and even joke with each other like two good friends.

Enjoy Your Life

Before your relationship with the other began, you have your own life. You have your own friends to hang out with, hobbies and sports to enjoy, and families to spend time with. After the breakup, the world must not end. You can enjoy the things that you used to do. Live your own life. Don’t wait for the time that your ex will come back; it may never happen.

Try New Things

Some relationships can be a struggle to adjust to one another’s differences. Oftentimes you strive to like what the other person likes and find common denominators so you can be a good partner. It’s time to experience new things which you couldn’t do while your ex was around. If you’re sporty, and your ex wasn’t, get into sports like running or cycling. If you’re religious and he wasn’t, now you can start serving your parish. If you are serious about improving yourself, you can even sign up for classes. Doing these will divert your attention from the pain of breakup.

Get Busy

Some people break up and can easily move on with their lives. Don’t sulk and remain sad. Be busy. If you are a student, focus on improving your grades. Read books and get involve in your school activities. If you are working, improve your job performance and work on getting a promotion.

Search Your Soul

It takes two to make a relationship work. You can never put all the blame on your ex. Soul searching enables you to realize that you are at fault too for the breakup. It will ease your pain if you admit this fact. When you are aware that certain bad habits caused the break up, then soul searching can help you improve to be a better lover.

Improve Yourself

Breaking up should be seen as an opportunity for self-improvement. You learn your lessons better the hard way. Surely, you don’t want the next relationship to go wrong again. If another person comes along, the mistakes you did before must be avoided. There are lots of self-improvement books and audio to get better on man-woman relationship.

Take It Easy

Don’t rush. Healing a broken heart is a long process. Don’t plunge into a new relationship in an effort to forget your heartache. Slowly taking proper steps before getting involve with someone new is a good sign that you are moving on and looking forward to a happy future.

Breaking up may be an end of a special relationship but it can be a new chapter in your life. For old time’s sake, you will always have your former lover to rely on when you need a friend.

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