If you’re the type of person who finds something to laugh about in everything, including your breakup, you’ll probably find one or two breakup lines below that suit your style.
- “I discovered I have a mild form of epilepsy and you bring on attacks because you make me too excited to be around you.”
- “I have a pet dog, he kisses like you, his breath is like yours, he pants like you. I love him dearly but I wouldn’t want to marry him. Lets part before this goes any further. “
- “We just grew apart. I don’t need you anymore.”
- “You mean more to me than life itself – but I’m suicidal.”
- “I want someone who can buy me a new car.”
- “I’m sorry, but there just isn’t room in my life right now for both you and my vibrator.”
- “You’re too young for me. I mean, too *old*. We’re the same age? Well, that doesn’t work for me, either.”
- “My dog is having puppies and I need to take a year off in order to train them to attack your picture.”
- “This just isn’t for me. Nothing personal. I want to be able to tell people I’m single.”
- “You talked about the future, and that freaked me out. It makes me sick to think about it.”
Think you got a even funnier breakup line? Let’s hear it by leaving a comment below.
"It's not me, it's you."