Top 10 Funny Breakup Lines

If you’re the type of person who finds something to laugh about in everything, including your breakup, you’ll probably find one or two breakup lines below that suit your style.

  1. “I discovered I have a mild form of epilepsy and you bring on attacks because you make me too excited to be around you.”
  2. “I have a pet dog, he kisses like you, his breath is like yours, he pants like you. I love him dearly but I wouldn’t want to marry him. Lets part before this goes any further. “
  3. “We just grew apart. I don’t need you anymore.”
  4. “You mean more to me than life itself – but I’m suicidal.”
  5. “I want someone who can buy me a new car.”
  6. “I’m sorry, but there just isn’t room in my life right now for both you and my vibrator.”
  7. “You’re too young for me. I mean, too *old*. We’re the same age? Well, that doesn’t work for me, either.”
  8. “My dog is having puppies and I need to take a year off in order to train them to attack your picture.”
  9. “This just isn’t for me. Nothing personal. I want to be able to tell people I’m single.”
  10. “You talked about the future, and that freaked me out. It makes me sick to think about it.”

Think you got a even funnier breakup line? Let’s hear it by leaving a comment below.

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