Breakups happen when you or your partner gives up on the relationship. Many times the reason is that he or she has lost the spark in the relationship. One or both of you has become unhappy with each other.
It is heartbreaking for both of you. Even if love is still there, you or your partner has decided the relationship must end. Lovers have different ways to cope with breakups. There are some who can recover immediately and move on the next relationship. There are also those who can’t. Those who may have invested too much emotion in it will cry for many months or even years until they trust someone again. Usually, they are the female lovers because women heal longer than men after breakup.
Men recover faster than women, not because they are masculine, but because they are less emotional than women. You don’t see men cry often, but they also do in a different way. Society dictates that men should not show signs of weakness so men always show a firm front and get over breakups easily than women do.
Why Women Heal Longer
In many cases, women are the receivers of the bad news. Is this a reason why women heal longer than men after break up?
- Women are very emotional and affectionate. In relationships, women are obviously the givers of love and affections. Before any relationship, men surely show more affection to impress the women. Women
- Women are persistent. The men usually give up easily when they feel that they are getting suffocated by the women’s constant demands and nagging; sometimes the relationships continue only because of the women’s persistence.
- Women love to seek advice from family and friends. When lovers break up, women have their family members and friends as support. Even if the relationship was ended, the honest opinions and comforting advices from other people make it harder for the women to finally accept that it’s over.
Some friends would nicely comment “Oh, what happened? Your relationship seems perfect!” and this would bring back memories of great times together and you wished things can be repaired. Or maybe someone would honestly blurt out “He was a perfect catch. Didn’t you realize what you just gave up?” and you began moping again and wished you have behaved differently . A good friend might also say “Don’t worry. Give him space and I’m sure he’ll come back” and that would leave you with all hopes high to renew your relationship. Sad to say however, getting back into each other’s arm may be far remote when your lover has finally decided to break up.
There are also instances when women recover faster than men do. This could mean that the person was never so emotionally attached or serious in the relationship. A lot of it however depends on the personality of the individuals.
How Long Is the Healing Process?
The healing process is the same for men and women after breakup. Pain doesn’t go away easily. Both you and your ex will find moments to think over what went wrong in your relationship. You may not reconcile as lovers but the mistakes you committed and the faults you did will help you to better deal with someone new who comes along.
The persistent female lover will try for a second chance to work on some issues they had before and to show that she has changed. But again, this doesn’t always happen when the ex has firmly decided to end the relationship. This is also true with the male lover who will ask for forgiveness especially if he has been physically or emotionally abusive to the woman. The woman will never agree on a second chance.
Most relationships do not end well if the partners constantly fight and anger between them is always there. Avoiding contact with each other as well as not going to the places both used to frequent will help in the healing process.
On the other hand, it will be a lot difficult when the relationship ends just as things are going pretty well. She will be calling often to reconsider the decision, or he may visit regularly to woo the woman again. If things can’t work out for them as lovers, then they may end up as friends instead.
How to Cope with Breakup
The world has not ended after the breakup. There are many fish in the ocean if you just think positively about the situation. Maybe he or she isn’t the one for you.
You can keep your mind off the breakup by keeping yourself busy with school or your job. It will be easier to forget about your ex. The breakup can even restore your self-identity and confidence which you may have lost while in the relationship.
Friends are always there for the broken-hearted. You can hang out with them and receive words of comfort. Who knows you will meet a new lover through your friends?
Every relationship has a beginning and an end. If it ended as fast as it should have, don’t despair. It may be your first but surely it won’t be the last. The best thing about breakups is that you learn about how to become better person so that the next relationship might be for keeps.